Taco Bell is your last bastion of beach
lust then bridge three breach the staid mainland.
Last peeks of a spread leg Molly backseat
beseeched peep show, meek passenger’s discrete demands
of what to do with your hands, turned staring
at you straight in dilated eyes. One who drives
decries it all, “Is she doing to again?” Bring
offending digits to your lips and lick. Spy
aquamarine surly stare in rearview
mirror. Fear more rebuke when he pulls in
the parking lot, fight with door because you
implore “let me check it out.” Finger swollen
from rubbing glass ring up/down until skin breaks,
he takes it away; says you should at least eat beans.
Inside his Impala, he has little
patience for you, driver with only a
skewed rectangular rearview — spilled skittles,
pristine vintage interior, wet thighs splayed.
He holds in a lot he doesn’t say. Crazed
like a daddy, pulls down your dress, you enter
Taco Bell rolling. He says you best behave —
to both of you, passenger daddy, center
of booth. You break nachos like a family,
two lanky young daddies who allow you to
be naturalistic, some practicalities
One sets you free. One tells you what to do.
One counts each bite you take of seasoned rice.
One knows how much you cum & still thinks you’re nice.
You’ve known the driver for quite a while. He
makes you sit in his backseat, chauffeured you
in style to Chinese dinners, erupting
volcanic drinks. Lets lovesick roommate view
you fucked on a kitchen sink. You have your doubts
though he thinks it’s fine. Awake to her
nude in your bed too many times without
invitation, makes you remember
those times in your childhood that you do
lines to forget. Explain it all to dyed black
back of head in a Taco Bell drive through —
seven layer burrito, panic attack
though he keeps the former up front with him,
no lettuce in this car, if you want to stay friends.
The cheese he needs is procured in a blend —
cocaine proliferation, plus, part time,
pretends alone in a strip mall to vend
t-shirts, small plastic power trucks with rhymes
on the utility company’s name
for twenty bucks. Nobody wants either.
No one comes in. It sounds like a game
when it’s mentioned over his fajita
burrito — come to work with me. Fuck in
film booths to corporate movies about
electricity. No one wants this to end.
Three days ago lured to your hotel hideout,
the passenger we only knew by name.
Nobody knows the rules to this game —
after the hotel where you fled the jealous
roommate (the one you knew should not be
allowed to participate — even as zealous
voyeur) You suggested it demurely
in a Taco Bell drive thru, to a driver
who does what he wants with you. Does not
reside with a smitten compulsive liar,
tomato red cheeked saucy as fire debutant
who sought you out after seeing you nude
in art installations then discreetly
pursued. Offers a room with a view
in a creative house. Sublet, no lease,
was working out until you say you won’t play
and then you answer an attorney’s call one day —
because she didn’t pay rent since you moved in.
Collected from you. According to him, you
have two weeks before eviction begins.
Pack up some suitcases. Call chauffeur dude
for Taco Bell then hotel — but after,
across the yard, to her, shout — “I’m having
a three way — and I’m moving out.” Matters
of money, manor soon disappearing
like guacamole then pill you swallow.
Check out before you check in. Slip out of
your babydoll dress. Phone mutual callow
friend at the punk rock bar where you all love
to be. Door girl yells to him your hotel room.
More horny than homeless, hope he arrives soon.
Denuded your home also worries and clothes,
wait for a boy you both hardly know. Wrap
goosebumped flesh in sour cream sheets. Close
your eyes. Count each heartbeat until the tap
of fingers on a cored wood door makes a
percussive rhythm you feel before spreading
you wide beside your chauffeur friend. They
ride you until you don’t have to pretend
to have human concerns, shelter or cash —
just animal, unleashed, used, put in a bath
dreading checkout time when you’re starting to crash.
let’s fuck in the sand, driver says; you laugh
anything to keep reality out of reach.
Taco Bell is your last bastion of beach.

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