Breakfast At Tiffany’s
hit the bricks around the rising crack of daytime/the gutter is my toilet where I wash off the grime/it’s just another day standing in the homeless paradigm/that leads me on a hunt to feed my stomach enzymes/I watch the traffic from the shadows I lurk/so the people walking past me don’t panic and jerk/they quick to call the cops with smiles and smirks/I so lay while they cirque until they get to work/a quarter after nine I got a sip of wine/that shot off in my gut like a M-4 carbine/Wild Irish Rose Boone Farm combine/courage that I need to get through the sunshine/fuel for the walk hold my liquor just fine/for the long wait that I hate in the soup kitchen line/found a spot and it’s already hot/with a line out the door stretching to the parking lot/wait three hours just to eat what they got/it is what it is we’re a doo-gooder afterthought/corporate crackpots with efforts in naught/taking sick joys watching us pick through the rot/and the maggots the roaches the slime and the snot/so they can have a new story to tell on the yacht/some are fair weather on their tax credit endeavor/like we don’t know they look at us as their bottom feeding lessers/slaves will eat whatever now ain’t that shit clever/then they throw the rules and get the peoplefussing/they think we little kids until the nerves get the crowd cussing/it ain’t worth all that for food nobody’s trusting/that they say we’re ungrateful for because it’s too disgusting/so I sneak a drink while others sneak smoking/just leave the weed alone they know from the smell and choking/then cast you out without a meal and that’s with no joking/breakfast is first come no matter how many served/and you don’t know what they got until they give the word/so here’s to hoping they have more than fried bean curd/if I want something healthy the lettuce is iceberg/we taking trays looking like worn money/cracked like paper that you see coming off molded mummies/I might be hungry but desperate ain’t got me shaken/if they think I’ll eat anything that’s where they are mistaken/some people float in whispers traveling the air/the eggs are no good and covered in hair/talk about my stomach risking a wing and a prayer/I’m already having doubts since they out of silverware/the same faces fill the same spaces/eating scraps bad food poisoning chases/did the meet and greet and copped me a seat/cuz I already know which ones gonna cheat/most that come through just glad for the heat/but the hustlers and the busters don’t care if you eat/hell yes they gonna act up if they serving real meat/and the weaker ones that take it are going to get beat/they got to get theirs they gonna take yours/with zero fucks given cutting through to your vocal chords/this morning ain’t no different/a couple hands went and got bent/and left a body bleeding all over cement/over what just a piece of watermelon/with one person dead and the other one a felon/just another day of hungry overreachers/carrying homemade weapons with custom concealers/our casualty of the day was this old dope dealer/heard he went upstate even though he turned squealer/that dude was the top of the heap/in the hood and wasn’t cheap/and the shit was good on a creep/and understood to get you high enough to weep/talk about the good days of sleep/but then he got to doing way too much tooting/which led to bad decisions and way too much shooting/with too many guns and too many needles/got the monkey on his back that spread like the measles/and there he lays in the floor staining the linoleum in red/cuz he couldn’t fix his shit with a bounty on his head/I’m sure the junkies heard around town/that they could get a couple dollars if they put him down/he had decent shit on so they gonna still clown/stripped him naked and laid claim like it was lost and found/don’t take too long before the police rolled/and since the doo-gooders got breakfast on hold/and I took a sip and the coffee is cold/I’m just going to call it one and leave the drama threshold/cuz when the boys in blue in come thru looking for a clue/somebody’s going down hard like a blow in kung-fu/it is what it is so I’m going to bid them adieu/preparation tends to hate a lot of victory/like stand up dudes hate a snitch without injuries/it is what it is in the homeless periphery/the issue of the time and in every modern century/can land you dead in the gutter on doing a bid in the penitentiary/but at least you can scavenge a little breakfast at Tiffany’s.
Grendel Lives Matter
So a long time ago in the Scvlding pedigree/a king name Hrothgar was working on his legacy/commanding all the people to sacrifice their peasantry/to build a great bar that he claimed in prosperity/a Thane kick it spot toasting barbarity/a thousand years later we laugh at the hilarity/but back then it was more of a rarity/to have a place where your killers could drink themselves to clarity/the king’s plan was to honor his deputies/with a couple of trinkets he gave merrily/his purse strings fell light on the equity/so like modern times he rolled out the austerity/Grendel came in with a shade of jealousy/that pushed them head first into their own destinies/promising Thane blood spilling heavily/if the noise didn’t stop and let him live quietly/ Hrothgar proclaimed him with bulldagger intent/nothing more than a bitch with a masculine scent/it was what it was and away he went/since he wasn’t about that life of Heorot argument.
Hell hath no fury like a monster mash scorned/fucking with Hrothgar in the halls he adorned/it’s not exactly like he hadn’t been warned/his emotions ate him up as his deputies mourned/so he called the Thanes to order with the power he wields/and made them grab their swords their lances and shields/and sent them out the castle walls and into the fields/and ordered Grendel comes up dead or force him to yield/now being a bad boyGrendel will keep it real/and gave them a little ambush he knew they would feel/the playing ground was set on a nice even keel/as he ate the Thanes up like shrimp dipped in cornmeal/streets are talking and the people quite bothered/that Hrothgar chasing tail like he was some kind of a coward/his home team left fractured and even devoured/attitudes of the survivors had really quite soured/for twelve years the beef with Grendel went full throttle/the king and his men hiding out in the bottle/had the kegs on tap and in the field their hottle/they couldn’t even keep enough stashed in the pottle.
And all through the land and even across the sea/the word got around that the kingdom was in jeopardy/the thanes had givenup and were about to take a knee/to the big bad wolf that inflicted all their misery/Beowulf the nephew of King Higleac/thought the Geats boys could get Hrothgar right on track/his uncle gave the blessing and they hit the road jack/just like the guys that do drive bys in Pontiacs/got the swords and the axes and the gunny sacks/fourteen stormed the land just to stop attacks/Beowulf of the Geats was a slayer type mack/if Grendel wanted smoke he would peel his cap back/the king was battle worn his nerves a little jeery/but he heard the Geat out and let him share his theory/it sounded pretty solid but he still remained leery/but Beowulf gave his word to bring rest for the weary/they shook hands and they all got crunk/Hrothgar opened up the bar so they could get drunk/as Beowulf and the boys hit supplies in the trunk/cuz they not outside of the club where think they a punk.
Now Grendel running around in the ground just brooding/pissed that Hrothgar ain’t learned from the feuding/all the dead bodies made for good home cooking/since a finger licking Thane was good eats from the skewing/so while Beowulf on fire watch and drunken bed checks/Grendel brings the pain like hockey games in Quebec/storming the final frontier like Klingons on Star Trek/the Geat boys sound the siren all hands on deck/the great march stepper strikes the first blow in outburst/eating foreign boys like a pound of good bratwurst/but the dinner plan didn’t count on Beowulf being well versed/on hand to hand combat and struck his head first/Beowulf was his match for his own unique blood thirst/he came for his jugular and gave him his worst/grabbed his arm by the socket and forced gravity reversed/tore the shoulder from the arm until the arteries burst/he picked up his arm and took it back to his den/he finally met his fate at the hands of men/he might have lost the battle but the war he’d win/as he died he thought it didn’t matter exactly when.
The Ballad Of Lynetta
if your cheddah was beddah you would know lynetta/she got you shaking off your feathers when you get together/she got you eyeing her curves and now you think you clever/she gonna turn your ass out now and forever/when you see her at first glance/you got just the one chance/to orchestrate intentions of romance/don’t hesitate intentions of finance/you know her name/and in this game you’ll be locked on permanent absence/lynetta old school/you better play it cool/you coming with a formal challenge then expect a duel/when you speaking the conversing she critiquing/could lead to your exit up in your lincoln or either freaking/either way you done lynetta had her fun/she got you feelin like you hit it and you ain’t had none/she got you bent sizing up her requirements/the time spent giving back rubs in the bitch is back black tub/titillating toe action tongue tied rubs/and then your dismissed/lynetta got you pissed/she had nerve enough to walk you to her door without being kissed/you really out her league/she got your mind intrigues/she got you doing things you never thought you do boo/just wait until her advance auditions in round two/don’t think you resisted/your eyes done went misted/lynetta in this war so don’t get it twisted/she not a foot soldier by any means/she in administration and keeps her side lean/lynetta old school/you better play it cool/if somebody gonna be on the stroll well just know it’s you/she ain’t playing nor studding what you been saying/this here is the war and only cash money paying/either way you done lynetta had her fun/she got you feelin like you hit it and you ain’t had none/she got toes curl in a swirl/where you thinking you leaving with her as your girl/you have no idea she done left the world/this war is very scary/lynetta is a host to dignitaries/and if you find her on the field she playing secretary/you really out her league/she got your mind intrigued/still wanna step to her for a quick screw/before it’s through/she have you doing things you never thought you do boo/take out some life insurance before you through.
The Donald Goines Memorial Hotel
people here because they can’t afford the rent
working piece of shit job paying a handful of cents
thrown to the wolves by the shady government
struggling to pay off them student loans that circumvent
first last security deposit is gone before its spent
so they stuck renting rooms from foreigners with the accents
in the past tense and even in the relevant
at four hundred a week the place ain’t that decadent
and it shows in the black mold room mating with the residents
got a coach class of roaches housekeepers transplant
room to room with the lice the bedbugs and the ants
that storm around the building like Ulysses S. Grant
but ain’t shit you can do since you’re not legal tenants
instead of sweeping they stretched out in their sleeping
or casing what you got for the next day’s creeping
taking anything of value you already struggle keeping
so when the owner does a room raid they surely will find
everything they not looking for and rob you blind
since the space is the place that takes all kinds
and your little bit of belongings ain’t worth shit in their minds
you got the ones with the check living within their means
battered women fleeing husbands that ruptured their spleens
partying teens hopped up on weed liquor and caffeine
jailbirds that got released that ocd keep their room clean
then the dope fiends quarantined in the shadows of their habit
copping from tricks that the hoes hopping on like rabbits
in the parking lot at night on their knees like an abbot
my favorite are the boosters who be up with the roosters
flipping hot nooks loaded with books from simon and schuster
long term neighbors that lived a fair share of winters
look out for one another but can have sticky fingers
preying on frat boys stopping through from drinking benders
cuz when folk look down on you they tend to remember
and do the most on revenge to cut you down like timber
front desk don’t care as long as you run legal tender
but if you run out of cash just forget it
foreigners will put your ass out if you need a line of credit
which is funny for them while you just may start to dread it
since the government funds their business see where this is headed
running on empty every week trying to avoid jail
cuz if you can’t afford the room you can’t afford bail
and for the price you pay you can’t even receive mail
it is what it is when the poison’s down the well
enjoy your stay at the Donald Goines Memorial Hotel.
Tia Ja’nae is the resident satirist as well as another editor with a
corner office at Econoclash Review. An author, screenwriter, poet,
and playwright, she oversees most of the Quality Cheap Thrills flash
fiction. Among things she won’t be remembered for are several
independent films and a few albums only her most die hard fans
downloaded from torrent clients. Her written work of short stories
has appeared in Shotgun Honey Presents Recoil Volume 4, Tough Crime
Stories 2, 45th Parallel’s Journal, as well as Tough Magazine,
Flashback Fiction, Shotgun Honey’s Webzine. Her upcoming collection
of poems entitled Cunt Classics is due out in 2022 by Uncle B.
Publications and her novel is tentatively peeking it’s head winter
2021. She is routinely classified by order of your government.